Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am naked and annoyed.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
