Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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