I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
