All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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