he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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