help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
