Kiss
Puke
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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