They should really pass out barf bags in church
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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