Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
