Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
