i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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