We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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