just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
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are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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