Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
