um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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