Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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