Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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