i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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