I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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