Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
