Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
