When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
