you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
