And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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