You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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