if you like me you must not know who I am
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
