ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
