Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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