That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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