Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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