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I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
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