Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.

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(202): it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously. http://tfl.nu/bvn1

Replies (7) Good night (637) Bad night (1731)
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(310): View more from California

she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.

(1-310): View more from California

ewwww. she might as well have a dick.

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(310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol. (1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a dick. http://tfl.nu/aucq

Replies (28) Good night (536) Bad night (1262)
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(408): View more from California

man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"

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(408): man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt" http://tfl.nu/3qgn

Replies (22) Good night (817) Bad night (3217)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds

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(860): And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/xs1z

Replies (112) Good night (2955) Bad night (856)
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(434): View more from Virginia

he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him

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(434): he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him http://tfl.nu/rnup

Replies (63) Good night (1416) Bad night (3661)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?

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(901): Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky? http://tfl.nu/axi1

Replies (30) Good night (665) Bad night (3595)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.

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(973): Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever. http://tfl.nu/k2hn

Replies (90) Good night (1710) Bad night (24439)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.

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(304): The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man. http://tfl.nu/dffi

Replies (17) Good night (799) Bad night (2436)
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(512): View more from Texas

ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..

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(512): ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm.. http://tfl.nu/glda

Replies (12) Good night (1286) Bad night (669)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl

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(918): He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl http://tfl.nu/2qwr

Replies (3) Good night (1502) Bad night (554)
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(240): View more from Maryland

it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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(240): it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick http://tfl.nu/lcrn

Replies (5) Good night (1091) Bad night (449)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.

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(864): Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some. http://tfl.nu/bkik

Replies (27) Good night (3339) Bad night (852)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer

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(240): Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer http://tfl.nu/mrff

Replies (4) Good night (1310) Bad night (547)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.

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(781): I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups. http://tfl.nu/fsmw

Replies (1) Good night (233) Bad night (435)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.

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(417): Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess. http://tfl.nu/qhcv

Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (233)

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