remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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