So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
