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• (352): View more from Florida

  So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  nevermind....I'm on the way

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I wish I had your problem

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (627): View more from California

  Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon

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