Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.

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  (850): I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life. (1-850): Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say. http://tfl.nu/wlmq
  Replies (11) Good night (985) Bad night (1792)
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  (518): View more from New York

  it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in

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  (518): it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in http://tfl.nu/7n77
  Replies (31) Good night (4688) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"

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  (203): all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober" http://tfl.nu/2nrl
  Replies (19) Good night (959) Bad night (4190)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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  (203): So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore http://tfl.nu/h83b
  Replies (11) Good night (958) Bad night (5431)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya

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  (507): I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya http://tfl.nu/oizi
  Replies (22) Good night (4293) Bad night (1587)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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  (781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator http://tfl.nu/8mwn
  Replies (32) Good night (12209) Bad night (1364)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.

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  (515): Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/mtdi
  Replies (6) Good night (3222) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

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  (817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w
  Replies (10) Good night (2656) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.

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  (802): I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn. http://tfl.nu/9nsq
  Replies (11) Good night (1998) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.

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  (604): The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her. http://tfl.nu/woml
  Replies (7) Good night (1927) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.

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  (773): Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather. http://tfl.nu/isyp
  Replies (10) Good night (1896) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.

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  (210): I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted. http://tfl.nu/x81s
  Replies (8) Good night (559) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  NO TEQUILA

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead

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  (907): NO TEQUILA (1-907): Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead http://tfl.nu/zozh
  Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

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  (402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91
  Replies (3) Good night (313) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success

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  (360): Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success http://tfl.nu/t5af
  Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (401)

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