Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?

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  (616): STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW? http://tfl.nu/6356
  Replies (3) Good night (1149) Bad night (606)
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  (805): View more from California

  saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken

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  (805): saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken http://tfl.nu/k7ra
  Replies (20) Good night (683) Bad night (3502)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.

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  (479): How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her. http://tfl.nu/z3i9
  Replies (141) Good night (924) Bad night (2884)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."

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  (402): I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while." http://tfl.nu/xrqm
  Replies (26) Good night (1029) Bad night (5960)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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  (609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (4617)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man

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  (914): I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man http://tfl.nu/puq5
  Replies (14) Good night (5507) Bad night (1454)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.

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  (631): I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form. http://tfl.nu/sx5m
  Replies (13) Good night (3886) Bad night (993)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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  (631): You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone http://tfl.nu/0bcu
  Replies (4) Good night (4440) Bad night (1001)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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  (720): At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course http://tfl.nu/67cn
  Replies (25) Good night (5172) Bad night (1110)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

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  (303): Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks... http://tfl.nu/ccgl
  Replies (6) Good night (6273) Bad night (864)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.

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  (917): Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you. http://tfl.nu/j1py
  Replies (6) Good night (3534) Bad night (990)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.

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  (603): he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained. http://tfl.nu/iy0m
  Replies (11) Good night (1867) Bad night (1295)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?

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  (414): I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I? http://tfl.nu/qaua
  Replies (10) Good night (504) Bad night (811)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.

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  (847): Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/r89c
  Replies (0) Good night (699) Bad night (266)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.

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  (262): Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition. http://tfl.nu/kdlv
  Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (168)

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