Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
