someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
