I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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