Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
