3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just google imaged poop.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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