if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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