she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
