every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
