he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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