Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
