I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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