I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
