take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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