you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
