Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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