i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
