i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
