those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
