Soap is not a condiment
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
