I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
