I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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