Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
