I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
