Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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