you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
