we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
