I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
