Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My bed smells like the plague
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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