Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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