I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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