Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I touched a dick in church today
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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