1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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